Is “Sliding into Instagram DMs” Still a Thing to Find Dates in 2025?

Dating apps have lost their grip on younger users. Bumble reported an 8% year-over-year decrease in total revenue in Q1 2025, according to Investing.com. A Forbes Health Survey of 1,000 Americans in 2024 found that more than 75% of Gen Z respondents felt burnt out using apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble, as reported by CNBC. The swipe-based model that once dominated romantic matchmaking now competes with something far more familiar: Instagram.

Roman Khaves, co-founder of the AI dating assistant Rizz, told a Tucson news outlet that at least 40% of their screenshots and conversations come from messaging apps like iMessage and Instagram. His assessment was blunt: “I would argue [Instagram] is the biggest dating app in the world today.”

Why Instagram Outpaces Dating Apps

YPulse, a youth research firm cited by NBC News, found that 2 in 5 young people met their partners through social media. Only 29% met through dating apps. The gap between these numbers tells a straightforward story about where romantic connections form now.

A nationally representative survey of 2,000 single adults conducted by the Kinsey Institute and DatingAdvice.com revealed that only 21.2% of Gen Z participants said apps were their primary way of connecting. Meanwhile, 58% said they focused on meeting in person. Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, observed in Newsweek that “for a generation raised on technology, most of them don’t actually seem to want to use technology to find love and prefer to find it the old-fashioned way instead.”

What People Actually Look For in DMs

Instagram has become a space where different relationship preferences play out openly. Some users scroll through feeds looking for casual dates, while others seek more defined connections like sugar babies or long-term partners. The platform’s visual nature lets people signal what they want before a message is even sent.

DM culture accommodates this range of intentions. A profile bio, a story post, or a reel can say enough to attract the right kind of attention. This makes first messages feel less random and more like a response to something the sender already saw and liked.

Instagram Is Leaning Into This

Adam Mosseri, head of Instagram, announced in 2025 that his team is “doubling down” on DMs. The app’s direct messages have received around 20 new features in recent months, according to Tubefilter. Mosseri’s comments explain the company’s reasoning: “When you think of Instagram, you probably think of a feed of square photos, but how Instagram works has changed a lot over the years. And if you look at what people share, how people express their creativity, the primary way they do so is actually DMs on Instagram.”

The numbers support this investment. Metricool reports that 694,000 Instagram Reels are sent via DM every minute. In an interview with Grace Beverly in May 2025, Mosseri shared that more images and videos are shared within DMs than on Instagram stories. He pointed out that DM chat sparks interaction and invites people to open the app.

The Authenticity Factor

Gen Z dating coach Rae Weiss told Newsweek that her generation is moving away from dating apps because swiping feels “transactional, laborious and scripted.” Her explanation was direct: “The burnout from choice overload has left us craving authenticity and meaningful interaction, so we’re seeking out organic ways to meet people offline.”

According to Deseret News, Gen Zers view direct messages and comments on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok as feeling more authentic and natural than the swipes on dating apps. Dr. Jeremy Goshorn from Lebanon Valley College notes that “connecting with someone via Instagram or TikTok is often seen as less intimidating.”

Celebrities Who Met Through DMs

The DM approach has worked at the highest profile levels. Both Nick and Joe Jonas first chatted with their future spouses through social media, according to TooFab. Nick Jonas reached out to Priyanka Chopra on Twitter, writing “I’m hearing from a few mutual friends that we should meet.”

Sophie Turner told Harper’s Bazaar UK about meeting Joe Jonas: “We had a lot of mutual friends, and they’d been trying to introduce us for a long time. We were following each other on Instagram and he direct-messaged me one fine day, out of the blue,” as reported by Elite Daily.

Vanessa Hudgens explained on The Drew Barrymore Show about meeting Cole Tucker: “If I want something or someone, I’m going after them. I fully slid into his DMs and was like, ‘Hey, it was nice to meet you.’ So I think there is no shame in making the first move.”

Mandy Moore met her husband Taylor Goldsmith through Instagram after posting about his band Dawes. She told People, “Somehow, Taylor saw it and sent a note to me. We started emailing back and forth, then we went on a date and the rest is history. Thanks Instagram, for helping me meet my fiancé!”

The Social Skills Gap

Hinge’s social impact director Josh Penny told CNBC that Gen Z’s social skills are not on par with previous generations due to three key reasons: the Covid-19 pandemic, smartphone use, and the decline in third spaces. He explained, “Look at the ways in which technology and social media have displaced how we spend our free time, and then Covid accelerated this trend even further.”

A Hims study fielded in January 2025 found that fewer than 1 in 4 Gen Z adults (23%) met their partner through a dating app, social media, or online community. The remaining 77% met their partner through traditional means.

AI Enters the Chat

According to CBS News, a study released by Match.com and The Kinsey Institute found that 1 in 4 singles and nearly half of Gen Z use AI to up their dating game. This includes crafting DM openers and maintaining conversations. The Rizz app’s popularity among Instagram users demonstrates how tech assistance has become part of the DM dating process.

Dating Apps Are Still Holding On

Half of Tinder’s monthly active users are Gen Zers, according to Fast Company. Hinge is holding on with Gen Z accounting for 56% of its user base, and the app reported a 17% increase in paying users. The apps are not dead, but they face competition they did not anticipate when they built their platforms around the swipe model.

TIME reports that social media has become a place for meeting potential partners. Visually-driven apps like Instagram and TikTok allow users to get a sense of who people are in ways that dating apps may not. A profile built over months or years contains more information than a handful of curated dating app photos and a 500-character bio.

Instagram’s testing of a new opt-in user interface prioritizing Reels and Direct Message features, as reported by Dataconomy, suggests the platform sees opportunity in this space. With more than 3 billion monthly active users, Instagram has scale that purpose-built dating apps cannot match.

Image Source: BigStockPhoto.com (Licensed)